From my heart

Am I the only one who sometimes feels overwhelmingly inadequate at being myself? This sounds strange, but it's sometimes hard just to be yourself. I have this ideal Lindsay that I want to be but often I feel a little disappointed that I don't live up to my own expectations. However, God is teaching me to be content, not just with things, but with myself. Let me first say that I'm not saying we shouldn't aspire and work towards self-improvement, but we do need to realize that God created us to be satisfied with who we are in Him. I'm regularly trying to define myself as a person by the things I do. I want to be a "healthy" person so I run (slowly) and choose organic milk to make myself feel better about the cookie that I'm going to eat with it. I want to be a "trendy" person (I said want to be, not that I am) so I read up on fashion magazines and window shop the stores that I can't afford. I want to be a "thrifty" person so I clip coupons, shop deals, and read too many blogs. All of these things are good and fine, but sometimes it's hard for me to truly know who I am and feel content with that. Do you ever put yourself in situations and try to take on a role that you realize is completely not you? Over and over again, I have tried to make myself be a crafty person. After decoupaging disasters, a half-knitted scarf that sat in my closet for 4 yrs, and having my drawings laughed at by the first graders I teach, I am sadly realizing that I am just not a crafty person. Maybe like me, you just haven't found your niche. Be content with that. I don't know if I will ever really feel like I know who I am and what I'm good at. I do know though that God calls us to be content in Him. In Christ we don't have to be something we're not. We just have to be willing to be who He calls us to be and then trust Him to equip us for that role.

But godliness with contentment is great gain. I Timothy 6:6